A Marriage Covenant Is Sacrificial

There is no such thing as a covenant without sacrifice, and marriage is designed to be the most sacrificial of all relationships. Covenant represents total surrender and involves the merging of one’s life into another. This biblical image of “two becoming one” does not deny personal identity, but it allows the development of a wonderful diversity.

The Old Testament covenant ceremony involved a “walk of death” that constitutes the core issue of the covenant. An animal was killed and split down the middle. The covenant participants would walk in a figure eight between the halves of the animal, reciting the duties of the covenant, and returning to face each other. The figure eight, a symbol of eternity, was an acknowledgement that the covenant was forever. This covenantal “walk of death” said two important things: (1) I am dying to myself and giving up the rights to my individual life in order to become one with my covenant partner; (2) I am, in effect, pointing to the dead animal and saying to God, “kill me if I break this covenant.”

Selfishness is the root cause of all marital conflicts. Therefore, the key to a successful and lasting marriage is for the individuals’ wills to die. It takes a lot of dying for a marriage to live. “Me-ness” must become “We-ness.” The more unselfish we are, the happier we will be in our marriage.

Blessings,

Pastor Chris Cambas MA, IMH, LMFT