Why Do People Cheat

3 Brutally Honest Reasons People Have Affairs

This article originally appeared on YourTango.com on June 9, 2015

These are tough statistics to swallow.

With the divorce rate skyrocketing, being in a happy and healthy monogamous relationship doesn't always feel like the norm. Rather than work out their issues, some couples just throw in the towel and put their relationships and marriages behind them.

The sad thing is, it doesn't stop there.

Recent studies have shown that while the infidelity rate hasn't drastically increased over the past few years, it still leaves more to be desired. According to Infidelity Facts, roughly 41 percent of couples admit to committing adultery , either physical or emotional, at some point in their marriage.

These are tough statistics to swallow. It doesn't help that The Huffington Post mentions that about 15 percent of divorcées cite cheating as the cause of their divorce. This number may not seem significant, but it adds up.

So is this really the new norm? YourTango's Founder/CEO Andrea Miller , Imago Institute's Harville Hendrix and Helen Lakelly Hunt , Cindy Cartee , LPC, Christine Wilke ,LMFT and Cheryl Gerson , LCSW get to the bottom of why so many couples are breaking away from monogamy and having affairs.

1. Our needs aren't being met.

Harville raises the excellent point when he says "In [Imago Therapy's] experience, there's no such thing as you having an affair. There's such a thing as our relationship having an affair. You're having one with a person and that makes you vulnerable to social criticism and the possibility that I can divorce you. But I'm [...] getting my needs met with my computer, my email, my children."

2. Social media makes it easier for us to stray.

Let's face it. We live, breathe and eat online. It makes sense that social media and technology overall causes distractions in our marriages.

3. We're not on the same page as our spouse .

It sounds crazy but it's much more common than you think. Our partner interprets our marriage as being healthy, even though we think the complete opposite. That's what makes communication so, so crucial.

If you feel like you're not connecting with your spouse on an emotional, physical and mental level, don't wait until it's too late to confront him. Just getting a conversation going can make all of the difference. It may seem simple but it's effective. After all, you both stand a lot to lose if you don't.

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