In 1962 a psychiatrist told my then-to-be-husband that he “self-sabotaged” and was “afraid of success.” Today, some mental health professionals still “diagnose” using that psycho-babble! Sixty years ago notions of self-sabotage and fear of success may have been acceptable “interpretations” of human behavior, but, in 2020, they are absurd.
Today so much more is known about the human brain. Answers to questions about why people do what they do, or don’t do - should be sought in the brain, not in concocted “interpretations” about human behavior. If self-sabotage and fear of success exist, where exactly are they in the brain?
A normal human organism/brain is “pre-programmed” for survival. It has alarm systems outside of conscious awareness that warn about known and suspected harm. Other psycho-neuro-immunological systems for self-maintenance and healing also operate without conscious awareness.
Sabotage, however, is conscious and intentional. It means knowingly undermining a course of action or goal. To sabotage is to engage in actions intended to do harm to someone or something. Does anyone actually believe we have some brain system or programming designed to undermine our drive for survival or a chosen course of action or goals? I, personally, don’t know of any brain research that’s revealed a self-sabotaging drive or fear of success network in the human brain.
So you say, “What about self harm such as cutting oneself? What about suicide? Aren’t those ultimate examples of the desire for self harm or self-sabotage?”
No, they aren’t. They’re an attempt to stop pain. They’re examples of a relatively weak prefrontal cortex (PFC) of the brain – the part behind our forehead. The PFC – when it’s at its best – is the executive of our brain. Processing messages between itself and other parts of the brain, it makes choices, stops us when we’re “off course,” prioritizes, organizes, makes plans, interprets messages of danger from other parts of the brain, says “Stop” and “Go”, manages emotion, exerts willpower – and, it can lead us to feel satisfied, even interpret bad events and negative feelings as useful lessons. It can turn lemons into lemonade. Cutting oneself and suicide signify powerlessness and the inability to manage stressors, due to insufficient PFC strength.
In other words, when the executive part of the brain isn’t powerful enough to manage fear, sadness, and other negative and painful emotions and thoughts arising from a particular interpretation of events, a person gives up, feeling helpless. That person behaves in ways that – in effect -- undermine pursuit of effortful, healthy, productive goals. However, this insufficient drive/motivation is not a result of some perverse fear of success or intention to self-sabotage. Instead, giving up represents pursuit of relief – relief from frustration, relief from effort that drains, and relief from psychological, and, maybe, physical pain. Short of suicide (the ultimate escape from pain), in an effort to succeed in achieving relief, people with a weak PFC may give up a frustrating, difficult, and emotionally defeating pursuit and, instead, seek relief by doing something intended to restore calm or homeostasis or soothing -- to refresh and repair themselves!
In other words, some people fail to achieve their goals because the executive brain (PFC) doesn’t have sufficient power to ignite its motivation potential for perseverance (as well as other features of executive functioning).
How or why would this happen to some people and not others? It happens because of sub-optimal neural networks and neurotransmitters between the PFC and other parts of the brain needed to “turn on” and sustain optimal task-relevant and social-emotional functioning. As I mentioned above, the PFC is the area in the human brain that generates persistence and “rationalizes” (uses rational thinking) bad into good – or at least, manageable.
When the PFC is consistently effective, we know we can “make ourselves do” what has to be started, continued and finished. When the PFC is not consistently effective, optimal daily functioning is compromised. Fortunately, modern medicine has been able to label this generally inherited condition. It’s called Attention Deficit Disorder (ADHD). Observed in children, it often remains throughout adulthood.
Several recognized experts in ADHD describe the condition in different ways. Russell Barkley, PhD calls it Executive Function Disorder. Dr. William Dodson calls it an “interest-based” brain. Ned Hallowell, MD refers to ADHD as a “trait” of the brain.
Regardless of its label, a brain with inconsistent PFC functioning has challenges being self-motivated and maintaining motivation for task-relevant performance in the presence of perceived run-of-the mill or “overwhelming” tasks and goals.
So, I repeat. People who are told today, that they “self-sabotage” and/or “fear success” are being fed hogwash. What they need is an assessment that includes criteria for ADHD, performed by a professional knowledgeable in ADHD! Experts in ADHD recognize that people with ADHD have uneven success in motivating themselves to do what needs to be done. And, understandably, they are likely to feel anxious and/or depressed because of it.
But, I am so happy to report that after an accurate diagnosis, research-based treatment including counseling and medication is available and effective!
So, for those of you who beat yourself up because of uneven daily performance:
Get an accurate, research-based diagnosis to determine
if you’ve inherited an ADHD-type brain.
If you have, get help!