Give your partner the benefit of the doubt.
Many times as we begin to get angry or irritated with our partner and frustrated in our relationship, the escalation could be eliminated or at least minimized if we assume that our partner did not mean to upset or hurt us. It also allows us to keep the action in perspective, and not make it bigger than it needs to be – where we get so angry we throw every bad thing they have ever done into the fight. Ask yourself why would your partner want to see you upset? The answer is they probably don’t. Most times it was a misunderstanding. Perhaps your partner did not know how important it was to you, or that you would take their words or actions in the wrong way. Tell them how you feel and then give them a chance to explain.
Be willing to say you are sorry.
When one is unwilling to admit they are wrong, they are stating that being right is more important to you than how you make your partner feel. Saying sorry means you care about your relationship, it is not a sign of weakness. You are not admitting to being wrong, but sorry that you are fighting or sorry that your partner feels that way. Sometimes people just want to feel validated.
Remember the good times and share them with your partner.
We spend so much time focusing on what our partner did wrong, forgot, ignored, or said rude. It is easy to focus on these. However, spend time during the day remembering the things your partner does right. Going out in the rain to get you your medicine, taking care of you when you are ill, doing the laundry, or making dinner after a long hard day. Remembering the good qualities will help minimize the bad ones. Each day take time to tell your partner three things you appreciate that they did for you that day.
For more relationship tools and to help the two of you learn to communicate better call me at (480)433-2800 to make an appointment. Speaking to a professional will help.